Dream of Invocation

It’s been a long time since I wrote last time, since I had no my own laptop in the past several months, but I bought one last week and it works perfectly now. Mom’s birthday is coming, she and my father are stepping into their 70ths. I’m not quite prepared what it will be if they are as old as I know from others. They were strong, selfless, fairness, and tolerant all through their life, many believe they deserve happiness, so much I do. Happy birthday Mom!

Selina and her friends came last week, and we had a wonderful reunion traveling in Shenzhen. It was quite  happy to see friends again, both of us regard the UK studying life as the most valuable memories in our life.

My current work is stressful, not only heavily loaded but also difficult, there are plenty of voices in one single point, and changes dramatically. Strongly related to strategic management and marking, and a little accounting. It’s far from my academic background and my pursued dream. Many times decisions are made far from the principles if managers would like to. The only choice left is just ignore your own mind and accept whatever others decide.

Have’t read any book for long, or prepared to learn.I should keep on learning, for a long time did I realise the truth of academics and theories. But in practice, you just use a tiny point and may be used differently with people involved. Maybe you just dislike it. Reviewed my alumni, they are working in good companies and some promoted to senior management level, I did not expect if I could be as outstanding as them, but I really wish if I can have a chance to do what I can, what I’m interested and what I want to. Many asked me why I come back, maybe because I miss understood our social system and I fared being challenged living there. I thought there is a great demand for analysts or associates in China, it’s not the same as I expected. Living there and hunting a job was descried like climbing to roof without a ladder, I did not even tried. As I remembered, I thought the study plan was finished with a master degree, and there was no one I for me to stay, so I booked a ticket and flied back so soon. But now I do not think so, I lost my love and my life there. For nights I dreamed, how much did I wish not to weak up, how many times did I told myself that’s not true in dreams.

It’s funny I start to recall things happened in the first several months after I went to UK. The red door of the kitchen, the cold morning in august, the first time I went out traveling in llandudno, the first time being lectured by J. Williams, the first time I saw her in lecture room 4. The first time I emptied a cup of red wine, the first time I light up a cigarette. It’s the freedom of willing I miss, but it can never come back again even everyone is beside in Bangor, maybe we’ve all grown up.