Dream of Invocation

The second snow in 2009 as I know dropped at the end of September in Chinese calendar, my mum told me it never had happened so early in her life. My father left in the morning, of course with much disappointment. The snow somehow showed my cold heart, like falling to the bottom of the current life cycle. It reminds me when I moved to Reading last year, observing people moving in and moving out, I was wondering where could I go when I graduate. It become an obvious question now. After months’ time hunting for a proper job, I am still waiting right here and staying in the room. I questioned myself and the society, maybe I don’t really know enough about the society, nor am I so outstanding. Initially I was confident, well prepared both mentally and physically when flying back. But when I know more how the capital market functions, and become familiar with how competitive the graduates are, I am lost and find no way; the only last thing left is the little worthless honur. Moreover, the invisible relationship could strongly influence the distribution of the job opportunities.

When I was trying to watch the newly released film about the end of the world, I came across the film about the founding of the country. They began with nothing but ended with everything, it was tough and risky in all the steps. Maybe I should change my attitude, lower down my expectation, forget what I have learnt, and accept how the society is going on. Otherwise I could be banished by the society. Another thing I could carry on is keep believing, I should and I will.